his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
