I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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