it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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