i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
