You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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