He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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