based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
