so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
