i think my mom watched the whole time
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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