Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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