got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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