If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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