Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
