So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
