but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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