we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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