Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
whose parrot is this?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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