we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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