Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
