I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
