Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
