I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
