I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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