got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
