As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
