??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
