Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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