Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
