In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
