she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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