Sponge bath it is.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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