can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
