So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
