How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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