either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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