DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
