Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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