we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
