I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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