a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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