Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And then he peed in my hair
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