You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize