Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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