oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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