I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
