she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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