I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
