just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
