Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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