i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
