we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
