I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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