If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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