I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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