well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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