That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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