yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
