Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
