I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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