Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
