I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
