3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.