Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Moan for me like Helen Keller

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  (347): Moan for me like Helen Keller http://tfl.nu/vo5w
  Replies (33) Good night (2645) Bad night (1225)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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  (201): Having kids is risky. They might end up weird. http://tfl.nu/gtfl
  Replies (16) Good night (1152) Bad night (1974)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.

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  (954): i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process. http://tfl.nu/s5xk
  Replies (78) Good night (1436) Bad night (5215)
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  (310): View more from California

  A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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  (310): A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. http://tfl.nu/d1e6
  Replies (111) Good night (9910) Bad night (1752)
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  (925): View more from California

  i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

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  (925): i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit http://tfl.nu/r71a
  Replies (46) Good night (4995) Bad night (986)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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  (913): Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount. http://tfl.nu/7zsg
  Replies (21) Good night (6481) Bad night (1006)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2167) Bad night (842)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had to coat check the pizza.

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  (514): We had to coat check the pizza. http://tfl.nu/aa4o
  Replies (3) Good night (3029) Bad night (1014)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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  (204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym
  Replies (11) Good night (2762) Bad night (836)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.

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  (330): Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day. http://tfl.nu/k05y
  Replies (11) Good night (2722) Bad night (923)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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  (314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (891)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I will rub McFlurries all over you.

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  (612): That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved. (1-612): I will rub McFlurries all over you. http://tfl.nu/lnlf
  Replies (8) Good night (1553) Bad night (555)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.

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  (561): Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch. http://tfl.nu/p878
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (556)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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  (757): Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even http://tfl.nu/st9j
  Replies (7) Good night (622) Bad night (492)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.

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  (256): Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide. http://tfl.nu/ci5k
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (334)

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