Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
