Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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