We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
