your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.