Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
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All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old